Christmas season is such a downer.

—no one

I really didn’t eat or drink that much on Thanksgiving.

—no one

I enjoy sitting on a cold toilet seat.

—no one

My dog’s breath smells awesome.

—no one

Freezing rain is way better than snow.

—no one

They’re really not being all that specific about Hurricane Sandy.

—no one

I’m totally blind-sided by the Marlins firing of Ozzie Guillen.

—no one

We got this.

—no Yankees fan

Thanks for driving behind me with your brights on.

—no one

I love sitting on a cold toilet seat.

—no one

Fish and cheese as the protein for school lunch. Sounds delicious.

—no one

Wearing thick socks and sweats makes me so uncomfortable.

—no one

Cable/Internet installation always goes flawlessly.

—no one

(to anyone over the age of 18) Nice backwards hat.

—no one

You look so cool with your ears tucked in your hat.

—no one